White Man Tie With All Thumbs
Copyright 2008 by Pat Powers
Copyright 2008 by Pat Powers
This is an advertisement that actually sought to encourage people to come and watch the movie "Soldier Blue," a box office bomb about evil, but apparently mildly retarded, pony soldiers. I know I would have been intrigued by the poster. Why did they strip this poor Indian woman naked and then tie her so loosely that keeping the ropes in place is quite a struggle for her? Look how she's having to hold her fingers wide apart to keep the ropes on.
I think most people would have just looked at it and thought, "This sure looks stupid," and gone on to something else.
Soldier Blue, it turns out, was part of the 60s revisionism trend in the Westerns. The poster makes it seem that the movie is going to have some kind of romantic story, with the couple kissing and the Indian woman all naked and demure and obviously in consensual bondage. But don't count on it: there is a romantic relationship between Candace Bergen's character and one of the other characters, but the movie also contains some horrifically violent sequences detailing a massacre of a peaceful Indian tribe, sequences so violent that many who saw it couldn't really remember much else about the movie. This is understandable, given the meandering plot and poor characterization in the movie.
Considering how violent it is, how badly made it is and how dated it is, I'd say don't watch this movie -- it'll gross you out and for no good reason.
For the bonus question, we ask: does any such scene as shown in the ad enliven the movie? If you guessed "Yes" you know nothing about the brilliance of modern movie marketers, who have apparently decided that promos for a movie don't actually have to have anything to do with the movie. Sure, it doesn't appear to make any sense to ordinary folk like us, but marketers are a breed apart, apparently because of too many generations of inbreeding caused by a genetic drift toward slow-running sisters. Candace Bergen does not appear naked and bound anywhere in this movie.
So, shuffle forward, marketers of "Soldier Blue," grin your buck-toothed grins and try not to drool as we give you your very special Loosie Award. See how shiny and bright it is? We thought you'd like it. Now back to that special bus of yours!