Copyright 2008 by Pat Powers
Man: Look, the reason you can't get out of that rope is that you have your hands all bunched up like this" (shows hand as in scene). "If you'd just hold your fingers together you'll slide right out of that rope!"
Damsel In Distress: No! No! It can't be that simple. I'd feel like an idiot if I were staying tied to a tree like this with such a loose rope!
Man: Oh, come on, you're having a hard time keeping your hands in that rope as it is! You're having to hang onto your left hand with your right hand to keep it from slipping out! You're into this stuff, aren't you?
Damsel: Oh, what an evil day it is when an innocent damsel can't stand around tied to a tree without people casting aspersions upon her sexuality!
Man: Fine then, want me to rescue you?
Damsel: No, not really. How about caressing my body instead?
Man: Sure, I'd love to.
Damsel: OK, but first ... got something you could gag me with?
This is almost certainly not the dialog that goes with this scene, but we can't be absolutely sure it isn't, because it's hard to believe that anybody would expect viewers would buy a damsel in distress tied with ropes this loose. For this kind of sloppiness, we can only say ... here's your Loosie Award, folks! You've earned it!
