Welcome To The Damsel In Distress Hall of Shame
Home of the Loosie Awards!
Every so often, there comes along a damsel in distress scene from a mainstream film or television show that is so badly done that it is worthy of special recognition by those who love damsels in distress. It has to be special because lame damsel in distress scenes are commonplace in mainstream film and television. It has to make you wince. It has to make you shudder. It has to make you wonder what they could possibly have been thinking!?! It has to be worthy of ... A Loosie Award!
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Read this official press release describing the origins of the Damsel In Distress Hall of Shame!
Elizabeth Kaitan in "Slavegirls From Beyond Infinity"
Press here to visit our first entry in the Damsel In Distress Hall of Shame, "Slavegirls From Beyond Infinity" which asks the question, "How far can suspension of disbelief go?"
Diane Bond in "House of 1000 Dolls"
Press here to see the most egregious bit of bad manacling in film we know of -- from House of 1,000 Dolls!
Unknown in "Roger Corman's Burial of the Rats"
Press here to see a Roger Corman Loosie Award winner!
Kirsten Dunst in "Small Soldiers"
Press here to see the least effective gag imaginable!
Jeri Ryan in "The Flash" (television series)
Press here to see 38 of DD, the Electro-Cutie of Borg, demonstrate why thin cleave gags don't work!
Sheree Wilson in "Walker, Texas Ranger" (television series)
Press here to see why you should tie Texas Ranger babes up before messing with them!
Teri Hatcher from "Lois & Clark" (television series)
Press here to see super babe Teri Hatcher add depth and mystery to the monkey puzzle!
Sheryl Lee in "John Carpenter's Vampires"
Press here to see how "John Carpenter's Vampires" managed to earn a Loosie Award without having any actual bad tie-ups in it!
Rossy DePalma in "Kika"
Press here to see Pedro Almodovar's fall from damsel in distress grace!
Lory Walsh in "Charlie's Angels" (television series)
Press here to experience the inner musings of a damsel on Charlie's Angels (played by Lory Walsh) who can't figure out how to get out of her distress.
Harley in "Strange Desire"
Press here to see why magic and damsels in distress just don't mix!
Daneen Boone in "Justine: Seduced Innocence"
Press here to see why a great gag can still earn a Loosie award.
Robin Evans in "Rage of Honor"
Press here to see what kind of suspicions really loose tie-ups can arouse...
Kathy Ireland in "Gridlock"
Amoral gold speculators are planning nefarious deeds, but don't worry, the Fashion Police are on the job!
Molly Ringwald in "Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone"
When an evil space overlord kidnaps Molly Ringwald and smears breast enlargement cream on her, what's a poor girl to do?
Dierdre Imershein in "Blackbelt"
When an evil martial arts organization begins practicing medicine, you know there's trouble at hand...
Karen Kopkins in "Jake Speed"
Karen, although bound herself, is in a position to help free Jake Speed by freeing him from his bonds with her firm white teeth. But there's a knot in the delicate place ... should she work on it?
Adrienne Barbeau in Swamp Thing
We don't know why they have Adrienne Barbeau chained like this. The important this is, THEY'VE GOT ADRIENNE BARBEAU!!!
Stacy Haiduk in "Superboy"
Stacey Haiduk, a dwarf and an iron cage -- that's entertainment for you! The imitation leather pizza is completely gratuitious, however...
Mabel Normand In Not Applicable
It's kind of hard to explain. Let's just say it's a little-known pic of one of the silent screen's great comediennes, a drop-dead beauty who was also a great physical comedienne...
Lisa Comshaw in "Lolita 2000"
Why fight the future?
Connie Selleca in "Beyond Westworld"
Sometimes loose bonds can be more fiendish than tight bonds!
Virtual Encounters With Bondage
OK, so the Loosie in this film is spectacularly, ridiculously loose. Doesn't LOTS and LOTS of beautifully photographed sex scenes count for anything?
Shadow Dancer Brings Forth A Loosie Trooper
Like Diane Bond in the very first Loosie Award film on this page, April Breneman is a true Loosie Trooper, ready to make even the feeblest gag seem effective!
Loosie of Fortune
"Mercenary" had three chances to produce a great DID scene, and blew all of them, but the final and most promising scene they blew ... spectacularly!
Soldier Blew It
"Soldier Blue" is a film whose marketers did everything wrong ... and yet, somehow, it still managed to be a failure in the marketplace ... and a Loosie Award winner!
Introducing the Horror of ... Chairobscuro!
Look! It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it could be something else entirely, maybe a refrigerator or a violin. Really, we can't tell what it is. It's too dark! This is the magic of chairobscuro, the cinematographic technique that damsel in distress filmmakers love so much. Or at least, so often.
A Loosie Vision
A moronic serial killer gets his well-deserved comeuppance after engaging in a textbook bondage error. The penalty, so fitting, so fully deserved, is death -- and a Loosie Award!
Dangerous Attraction
Death by chagrin is the consequence of bad bondage practices in this half-baked film.
Eyeholes ... Eyeholes ... Aargh!
A Loosie so spectacularly stupid that it must be included here!
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