Adrienne Barbeau In Swamp Thing

All right, the villian thinks, so I don't have any manacles in Adrienne Barbeau's size today. All I have are the Popeye-size manacles. The important thing is -- I'VE GOT ADRIENNE BARBEAU! What to do? What to do? I know! If her fists are clenched, she can't get them out of the manacles. So I'll just taunt her and keep those fists clenched and her imprisoned with her arms spread out to the side like that and those huge beauties of hers hanging out like the twin prows of a fleshy catamaran!

"Well, Miss Barbeau -- Do you remember Maude? Well, nobody else does! Most people say you were hired to give the show some sex appeal with those amazing breasts, er... talents ... of yours. But I think you were hired because your face and Bea Arthur's were so much alike that you had a credible family resemblance. Twinlike, actually! Nobody thinks you were hired for your acting ability, after all look where you've wound up since -- in this film and, most notably, "Roger Corman's Burial of the Rats".

There, that should keep her fists clenched for about a week. Don't want her foaming at the mouth or anything. Poor girl. I think physical torture would have been kinder.

What's this? A Loosie Award for oversized manacles? Thank you! I'd just like to thank all the little wrists that made this possible!

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