When campouts get strange ...
copyright 2005 by Pat Powers
Scene: A cubicle in an office. A young officer worker makes a call to his sweetheart:
"Honey, I have to spend the weekend doing my National Guard work this weekend."
"Yes, honey, I'm glad you brought that up. I know it's been hard with me going off all weekend, so I thought this time, you might want to come along."
"That's right. We're going to be doing some maneuvers in the woods and you can stay right in our camp."
"Naw, none of the other wives and girlfriends is coming."
"As a matter of fact, we DO have something planned for you to do. In fact, you're actually going to take part in our maneuvers."
"No, you're not going to have to run around and shoot at things. We're going to do an exercise where we maintain a base camp in enemy territory, and we thought you could be an enemy spy who infiltrates our camp."
"No, we don't expect you to be able to actually be able to infiltrate a group of professional soldiers like us. The plan is that we catch you and interrogate you."
"I'm sorry, hon, I know you're disappointed. But after that realistic spy infiltration scenario they did over at Fort Bragg, the guys can't go in the woods without having to fight off hordes of leather-clad women who're just dying to be captured as enemy spies."
"Well, I'm sorry it doesn't sound lke much fun. Tell you what -- I think they'd be OK with tying you up and blindfolding you. How about that?"
"OK, we'll gag you, too."
"Uh-huh. You'll be staying in a tent with me in the base camp for the weekend."
"Sure, that sounds like fun, hun. But you know, the other guys aren't gonna have women in their tents with them, so we'll have to be discreet."
"Yes, I imagine a gag would help you keep quiet. I can do that. Tie you up, too, if you want."
"It's a date, then."
I recently saw a Discovery Channel special on how military groups train. I'm not sure which military it was, but I'm pretty sure it was real military and not one of those militias or quasi-military groups. In part of the training, soldiers interrogated a young woman who was bound, gagged and blindfolded. (They removed the gag when they started talking to her.)
The bound, gagged and blindfolded gal was an "enemy agent," and by the looks of her, obviously somebody's wife or girlfriend who got recruited for the role. So I wondered how the dialogue might have sounded when one of the guys brought the topic up.