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My "Regular Guy" Voice

Oh, yeah, drooling over Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly doing the naked lesbian sex scene in "Bound" is Just All Right with most folks. Me included, actually ...

I have consciously adopted a "voice" when I write about bondage, hentai and B-movies with bondage in them. It is what I call the "regular guy" voice.

Of course, as a general rule, regular guys don't like hentai or bondage. That is, they might like the occasional movie scene with a heroine tied up, especially if she is scantily clad. But they're not INTO bondage or hentai, or at least, wouldn't admit to it if they were.

But the essence of the "regular guy" voice isn't what the regular guy is or isn't turned on by, but more a matter of "speaking" in a relaxed tone, joking around with just about anything, and avoiding pretence.

You don't HAVE to truckle to stupidity to write like this, but "regular guy" writers often do, because that's the easiest way to show that you aren't pretentious, and pretentiousness is of course totally wrong for a "regular guy" writer, in fact, poking holes in pretense is an important part of being a "regular guy" writer.

I find the opposition to pretense in "reglar guy' voice appealing. But you can be a smart regular guy. OK, I read all the plays of George Bernard Shaw when I was in high school because I LIKED them, not because I had to, and I liked the prologues to the play better than many of the plays. I'll grant you that's not something a regular guy would typically do, so if you wanna put an asterisk next to "regular guy" in my case, I can deal with that.

But the one thing a regular guy wouldn't do is hide the fact that he has done this or that. A regular guy wouldn't brag about it as if he thought that made him better than other people, but if in the course of reviewing a movie he thought of something "cultural" that would make the review work better, he'd use it.

Because pretending you're not educated/smart/whatever in order to to make people think you're a regular guy, is just as pretentious as as pretending you ARE educated/smart/whatever to make people think you're intelligent. A regular guy does neither -- he dances with the brains what brung him to the party. But the thing I find most appealing about regular guy voice is another aspect of its anti-pretentiousness -- the direct and unapologetic enjoyment of sexual themes you see in Regular Guy writing.

Regular guys like sex (with women) and they like naked women and they aren't at all worried that others might not approve of their appetite for same.

I feel the same way about bondage.

The most well-known example of Regular Guy writing about movies with sex is Joe Bob Briggs' movie reviews. There is no actual Joe Bob Briggs, just as there is no actual Pat Powers. Joe Bob is the creation of John Bloom, a former newspaper reporter who decided to write about B-movies in the voice of someone who actually watches them. Thus, there are unapologetic mentions of the breast and body counts in the movies he reviews. Joe Bob Briggs likes seeing breasts, and he likes seeing fights, these are almost always unequivocal goods for Joe Bob. Just mentioning them is useful information to him and his fans, and if an actress has a particularly spectacular body, that's even better.

I feel the exact same way about bondage, especially naked bondage, even more especially, naked bondage and sex. So I write about those things with the direct enjoyment that characterizes regular guy writings about sex in general. And that I think is what absofuckinglutely freaks people out about my writing is that simple, direct enjoyment of bondage imagery.

I think a lot of people feel that if you write about how much you like a particular bondage scene in a movie or on TV, whether it's a commercial XXX bondage video or a scene from a prime time network TV show, you need to very carefully and endlessly qualify your enjoyment of the scene: "I understand that this is just a movie, just a fantasy, I would NEVER advocate doing such a thing in real life, except in a carefully controlled, scientifically tested, UL approved, safety-oriented and thoroughly consensual situation, with all sorts of documentation to that effect, properly signed and annotated." Something along those lines, included with EVERY comment you make about how much you like a particular bondage scene.

Now, within the context of a blog or a website, it's possible to write some explanatory text -- essays and such -- that will explain all that for you, but that's kinda difficult in the context of posts on a message board.

As I have discovered, if you just write about, say, how you think "Deathstalker" is one of the best sword and sorcery movies of the 80s because it has so many scenes where heroic barbarians treat bound slavegirls like sexual snack foods, people will be upset with you. While this is an inarguably true statement for me, it takes lots of background 'splainin' to put this in a form that doesn't freak the mundanes, especially when you write about your enjoyment of such scenes in a direct and unapologetic way. I.e., in much the same drooling, deeply appreciative, majorly-turned-on way that Joe Bob Briggs and a lot of Internet reviewers described the lesbian sex scene between Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon in "Bound."

I do the same thing with bondage scenes. Why should I not? I like bondage scenes.

So in a future blog will be a cautionary essay about Where I'm At With All This Bondage Stuff for people who dont understand that there's a difference between movies and real life.

Just try talking about THIS scene from "Bound" in the same way that many internet reviewers have described the scene from "Bound" at the top of this page.

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