Piercing the Secrets of Piercing

What's better than a rope bra? A rope bra and nipple rings connected by a chain! Really, I heard Joan Rivers and Mr. Blackwell make that very point during this year's Emmy Awards coverage ...

copyright 2005 by Pat Powers

Piercing can be a good indicator of whether or not a gal is interested in becoming a hot bondage babe, though how good they are and what you should do about it depends on what's pierced and why. And of course, it matters whether the piercings are her idea of someone else's. This essay is based on the notion that the piercings are her idea.

But before we go into any detailed strategies, let's talk about piercing accouterments in general. Women think about these things differently than men. It took me years to learn this -- women have a genuine interest in things other than sex. A GENUINE interest, not the fake interest we men manage for things that are not sexual activities.

Part of their interest in piercings is the neat jewelry they can put in those piercings. As a guy dating such women, you'll have an interest in buying jewelry for her piercings. Now, if you focus solely on the sexually-oriented jewelry, she's going to get the idea that your interest in her is purely sexual. This is of course the truth, but for some reason it bugs women to know it. They feel better if you fake an interest in other things. Hence, civilization as we know it.

So here's what you do. Don't just buy her nipple rings and pussy jewelry. At the same time you get those, buy her bracelets and rings and necklaces and earrings. They don't have to be super-expensive jewelry, unless that's what she's used to. But if you get her all kinds of jewelry, including the nipple rings and the labia jewels, she'll feel better about you. And that's all to the good. Whereas giving her the idea that her piercings are just accouterments for her role in your life as a sex toy is ... all to the bad.

Now, to the particulars:

Pierced Ears

Pierced ears just mean the woman in question is over ten years old and has been left unattended in a mall that has a Piercing Pagoda for 15 minutes or more. In short, if she's young enough to think ear piercings are especially hot in a female sort of way, you should be seriously worried that you are in jailbait territory. I mean, GUYS get their ears pierced nowadays.

However, if the woman in question has ears that are pierced in five or more places with rings running from the top of her ear down to her lobes, it could mean that she's a wild woman who'll do ANYTHING, even let you tie her up in bed. Or it could simply mean she likes the sound of jingling.

Pierced Belly Button

A pierced belly button means that you have little or no chance with her unless you're young, handsome, rich or (best of all) all three. Why? Because she's trying to attract attention to her navel, which means it probably looks great, which means her whole tummy does, which means she's a stone fox and knows it.

Good luck, fella.

ExceptionIf she's a formerly overweight woman who's attracting attention to her belly because she's finally found a diet that works for her, it means she's feeling wonderful about herself and the world. You're a part of the world -- go for it! Tell her that all the really beautiful girls get tied up during sex, it's one of the exotic pleasures they're accustomed to. She's gonna want to try out all that sexiness she just got, so she'll want to go for it, too.

Pierced Nose

A pierced nose means a woman wants to be considered wild and free, but how you're going to be able to cash in on all that wildness and freedom depends on whether she's a Brittney Spears kinda nose ring wearer, or a Christina Aguilera kinda nose ring wearer.

If she's a Brittney kinda gal, you have the potential to do just about anything with her in bed, even tie her up with a spreader bar and cover her with whipped cream, so long as you do it in private. Publicly, you must maintain that you and she have a chaste relationship, even if her idea of street wear is clothing normally seen only on the runways at strip bars and she routinely licks anything that's longer than it is wide whenever photographers appear.

If she's a Christina kinda gal, she'll do anything, put anything anywhere, let YOU put anything anywhere, let you tie her to, under or over anything while you put it there. BUT -- she will expect you to tell everyone about what you do with her in bed, publicly acknowledging her total lack of inhibition and great skill at being uninhibited.

In fact, she'll expect you to MAKE STUFF UP that's even more far out than what she actually does. So if you actually do it with her while she's ballgagged, hogtied, and covered in zesty Italian dressing in the back of a Geo Metro while stuck in rush hour traffic on the Long Island Freeway, she'll expect you to add that there were also flaming wiener dogs and nuns with whips in attendance.

Exception If she's a Sarah MacLaughlin kinda nose ring wearer, expect to get laid -- just barely -- every six months or so. Expect her to be so sensitive that anything that might be construed as interest on your part in "doing it" with her will COMPLETELY ruin the mood, and the mood will have to be JUST RIGHT for anything at all to happen. So, yeah, once or twice a year -- tops.

There is a 1 in 1000 shot at transforming the Sarah McLaughlin babe into a drooling, blank-eyed bondage slut who will follow you around begging for it whenever you and she are alone. The whole payoff for the "sensitive" trip is that the gal is too fine, too sensitive, too pure for the depredations of the gross, horrible world we live in. Even the slightest indelicacy ravages her like a Mongol horde. And there's a certain pleasure to be had in being so ravaged. Each ravagement and her profound response to it means she is more sensitive, making her feel better about herself.

So this is where you give her the chance to feel VERY GOOD about herself by bringing a little role-playing into your sex lives. You have to become the Mongol horde who ravishes her at the very moment of your greatest intimacy, perhaps by tying her hands together or to the bed. Oh, the delicious betrayal by brutal maleness! Oh, the nastiness of it all for this delicate flower! She'll get an absolute high from it, and in no time you'll be cock-gagging her and tying her wrists to her ankles for the duration of your trysts, while she has orgasm after orgasm while you whip out your Mongol horde and pillage her ass with it.

Still, it's a 1 in 1000 chance at best, the most likely response is at the first hint that you not only want to have sex you want to tie her up as well, she'll kick you out of bed so fast and hard you'll think she was a women's soccer team member throughout her school days -- a very real possibility, of course.

Pierced Tongue

OK, first the good news -- if she's wearing a new tongue stud, and you are her boyfriend, she's going to want to give you a blowjob. I mean, what's the point of having a tongue stud if not ... ?

Now the bad news: you will be expected to go into transports of ecstasy due to the incredible skill with which she uses her new tongue stud, even if the experience is in fact excruciatingly painful.

There's a strategy you can use here to get yourself some bondage action. She's going to want to play with her new tongue stud really, really badly. So badly that you can actually use her desire to give you a blowjob as a bargaining chip. Tell her you'll let her give you a blowjob if she'll let you tie her hands behind her back while she does it. Say you want to see if she can get you off with just her unaided tongue -- no hands allowed. She'll go for it -- and this is the only chance you will ever have in your entire life to drive such a ridiculously one-sided bargain. Do it, for all our sakes!

Pierced Nipples

Nipple rings are a lot like bellybutton piercing -- they mean the woman is trying to attract attention, in this case, to her breasts. Very often women who have had breast implants will have pierced nipples as well. Its sort of like getting custom detailing on a new car.

Pierced nipples are not proof positive of bondage inclinations, but they're a good indicator. Especially if she goes out in public wearing big nipple rings under thin T-shirts or blouses so people can see them through the clothes. If she wears them only in private, then it doesn't mean so much. If she wears nipple rings or other nipple jewelry ALL THE TIME but keeps them concealed from view, it means she's hot and she means to stay hot, but she doesn't feel she needs to let the world know how hot she is.

Strategy A woman who has had her nipples pierced wants to play with them, just like the woman who has the tongue stud. It's just a matter of human nature -- new toy, wanna play. Now, she might not be as desperate to play with her new toy as the tongue stud gal, and you may not be able to drive any great bargains here. But still, you may find success in appealing to her desire to play with her new nipples.

Start simply with something kinda mainstream and popular, like a chain linking her nipple rings. Such chains are sold in all sorts of mainstream venues as a sexy personal adornment rather than a piece of bondage gear. But suppose you then get two chains and link her nipples to the headboard while doing it doggie style. It's nipple bondage, very kinky stuff, and if she likes it, could lead to more kinky stuff.

Pierced Labia

If a woman has pierced labia, well, what can you say? If she's not doing you, she's doing somebody else, because you don't get those things pierced so no one can admire them. A woman with pierced labia has probably read "Story of O" and thinks O is a big wuss for making such a big fuss over being pierced. She'll expect you to attach a chain to her pussy ring and lead you around the mall with it (with a big overcoat on to conceal where the chain connects so the cops don't throw you out -- and that's the ONLY reason she doesn't do it naked, because the cops would throw you out).

A woman who has pierced labia is attracting attention to her pussy, and there's only one reason to do that, since pussies are not generally displayable in public. (OK, if she works in the sex industry, a labia ring might just be a marketing thing, but that's a whole 'nother set of circumstances.) She's saying, "Here it is, come and get it, big boy." She wants attention paid to her GENITALS and you are the lucky guy who has to do it. Bondage ... no problem, so long as you keep her pussy purring.

Pierced Anus

Well, if you're into anal, you're, um, in. If not, be aware that she's going to want you to admire her anal rings or studs or whatever just like any of the others. Some women really are into anal -- I know one personally. I'm not sure how anal interests equate with bondage. The woman I know who's into anal is not into bondage at all. But then, she likes some pretty bondage-y hentai. Anal piercings, however, are probably a stronger indicator of bondage interests than just anal interests. Still, proceed with caution. If she's that interested in anal, you may be able to drive one of those great bargains -- anal for her if she lets you tie her up during. Hands behind back doggie style would be nice. It's ALWAYS nice. Just remember, don't stint on the lube and take yer time.

Pierced Lips, Eyebrows, Etc.

Hell, all you can figure is, they just like being pierced.

Pierced Everything Plus a Green Mohawk, Black Lipstick and A Dueling Scar or Two

She's not here for you, man. She's not here to be objectified by the male gaze. She doesn't want you to think she's sexy, or attractive or even cute. She wants to exist free of masculine oppression. You have NO chance with her so long as your body is tainted with testosterone. But hey, it's a free country man. Your life. And that's not ME laughing ... it's just ... everyone else.


What, ultimately, does this essay prove? Simply this: we are really good at Making Stuff Up. But you knew that already, didn't you?