The Limitations of Acting Bondage

copyright 2005 by Pat Powers

The actress pictured above is doing an excellent job of projecting a powerful image of being a distressed damsel. How did she get herself worked into such a state? She thought about something that distressed her, and projected that emotion into her situation.

It probably went something like this:

NO! NO! You CAN'T leave me here like this! You CAN'T! It's too awful! Too humiliating!

Really, I'm a decent person and a good actress! I deserve a better fate than this! I know all my lines, I hit all my marks, and I build characters into every role. I don't just coast!


ALSO FROM PAT POWERS
I may have flubbed a line and missed a cue now and then -- who doesn't? I have never done anything to deserve THIS!

Look at these ropes! LOOK at them! You call THIS convincing bondage? Do you? Because I am here to tell you that GODZILLA could slip his wrists out of these coils! How in the HELL am I supposed to make them look convincing?

ACT my bondage, you say? You have the NERVE to suggest that it's MY job to make this shoddy ropework look right? Let me tell you something Buster, MERYL $#$#% STREEP couldn't make this ropework look right!

No, you just can't. You CAN'T leave me here like this! For the love of humanity! What kind of monster are you? What? Oh, no! It's the words! The words I dread to hear! The words that mean my professional doom!

LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION!

Aaaaargh! I'm in hell!